


Var las vir suledin

by Leofina



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Betrayal, Feelstrip, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 22:58:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6213562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leofina/pseuds/Leofina





	Var las vir suledin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarlingAmatus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingAmatus/gifts).



(c) me 

Fenriel opened his eyes, looking around a little disoriented, since it was not his room, but green grass, trees, flowers around him. He held his head from a headache and slowly stood up, having a feeling where he was and why he was here. Solas was nowhere to be seen, but it had to be him, he always visited him in his dreams….before all of this.  
The Inquisitor had refused to sleep for days, after disbanding the Inquisition, he had been in the little room with the mirror, waiting for a sign, anything that would help him to understand. Had he been so wrong about Solas - no - Fen'Harel? He said he loved him, then why would he shutter his hopes and heart and leaving him behind, like a puppet no one wanted to play with again. It was Dorian who suggested that Cole would bring him a tea that was also mixed with a herbal essence to put him asleep or one day he would collapse dead if his torn body wouldn’t get any rest. It was his first real sleep til their last meeting in the veil, and now it appeared that Solas was about to visit him again. panic spread from his chest and he started to pant lightly. “Leave me alone…” He then yelled with his hands formed to fists, desperation and pain all to present. He had craved to see Solas again, hearing his voice again, being near the man he gave his heart to. But now? In his unprepared and vulnerable state? He was afraid, afraid to be used again, afraid to fall harder than the last time, a fall he would not recover from, Fenriel was certain of. “Just…. Leave me alone. You took all from me, All I was or will be - what else do you want? what?” He cried while yelling it - still there was no one there but Fenriel just knew it had to be him - the dread wolf who brought him here. He then noticed the hate in his heart, where love once was - his chest was hurting and he struggled to breath, collapsing to the grass again in a matter to show that he was at an end of his strength. The certainty all to clear that the man he loved was his enemy. How could he decide between his heart and all he was believing in - his friends, the entire world. In fact - he was afraid what he would choose - all this bundle of mixed emotions poisoning him slowly. Was he becoming mad? Did he loose all reason and sensibility for the important? It appeared so and he straightened , looking up to the sunny blue sky, inhaling deeply and recognizing the scent. Once the scent hit him, tears ran downhis cheeks and he turned his head to the side to see himself.  
Fenriel frowned, wondering what this supposed to mean. The other figure did not look at him, he looked into the distance and began to walk. “Hey… Wait” Fenriel called out and got up, stumbling lightly to his bodies weakness. his shape dis not stop, leading him to a lake with a waterfall - the place where Solas used to meet him.  
Then his heart stopped dead as he saw Solas standing with his back turned to him, arms crossed, staring at the beautiful lake while the second figure of Fenriel joined him.  
Fenriel stopped moving, all air gone to even say anything as he watched Solas turn to the other and embracing him, gently kissing him in a manner he always did.

The other Fenriel looked so happy, so comfortable, so in peace in Fen'Harel’s arms. He now saw both of their expressions, a chemistry he only saw in lovers like Cullen and Dorian, or Josephine and Leliana. That peaceful aura around them…. His heart ached to the scene, especially when both men in front of him sank to the ground, caressing each other, kissing, stroking - if it wouldn’t pain Fenriel so much to see it, he wouldn’t have looked away, but he did…collapsing to his knees and felt the emptiness.

He had ignored all the past days how happy he was, how loved he felt in Fen'Harel’s embrace, how complete he was, how much he loved him and still did. It all came back to him in that moment. The hatred replaced by the warm caress of love, all tension in his body gone, all that drained his body and soul - gone.  
Was this what Fen'Harel tried to achieve here? Reminding him of their love and that none of this was part of the game? That it had been real and honest - the only honesty he actually got from the dread wolf.

The betrayal was still present, but it no longer pained him at it did before, slowly his eyes moved back to the couple in the grass, he heard his own laughter, the happiness in Fen'Harel’s expression to had drew that laughter out of him.  
“I understand…” Fenriel the whispered defeated, his tears dried on his cheeks and his expression grew softer.  
When he closed his eyes he felt arms wrapping around him. He did not open his eyes, just leaning in and inhaling Fen'Harel’s scent.  
There was this peace again, that comfort and love. He sighed lightly to a gentle kiss on his neck. “Ir abelas, ma vhenan” he heard Fen'Harel's voice. But before he could say anything in return, everything around them got black and the next thing Fenriel saw was Dorian’s concerned expression, leaning over him in his bed.  
Dorian sighed in relief and sank onto the chair next to the bed.

Bless his heart for keeping him company, for being here to watch over him instead of being in the warm comfortable bed of his lover. Fenriel managed a smile, then noticing the cool caress of air on his cheeks. He brushed over it and noticed that his tears had been real. It must have been what Dorian saw before waking him up. No doubt the other knew that Solas had reached out for him. Not what Dorian intended with the sleeping mixture, that was what the concerned expression was about, Fenriel noticed and patted the other’s hand. “Ma serannas, Lethallan…” He said weakly before again dozing off again, his body loosing most of his previous tension and for the first night in a long time - he slept in peace.


End file.
